{"id":1103,"date":"2025-01-21T23:33:54","date_gmt":"2025-01-21T18:03:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.abhinaynarayan.com\/blog\/?p=1103"},"modified":"2025-01-21T23:33:56","modified_gmt":"2025-01-21T18:03:56","slug":"hilarious-jokes-you-cant-stop-sharing-with-friends-and-family-02","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.abhinaynarayan.com\/blog\/hilarious-jokes-you-cant-stop-sharing-with-friends-and-family-02\/","title":{"rendered":"Hilarious jokes you can’t stop sharing with friends and family 02"},"content":{"rendered":"
1. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

An Irishman is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.The drunk proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher.The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell <\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

2. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple that drove their car to Wal*Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot.The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot.The w<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

3. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

A man from Texas is vacationing in Mexico, and spends his day roaming around, taking in the sights.In the evening he goes to a fancy restaurant for dinner.As he sits there sipping his tequila, he notices that the couple at the table next to him are being <\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

4. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist,
\u201cMay I have a bottle of arsenic, please?\u201d She is shocked.
\u201cWhy would you want something like that?\u201d
The man calmly tells her,
\u201cI want to poison my unfaithful wife and her lover.\u201d
The phar<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

5. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

An old Man walked into the bank and stood in the queue, when it was his turn he handed his bank card to a bank teller and said, \u201cI would like to withdraw \u00a310.\u201dThe teller told him, \u201cFor withdrawals less than \u00a3100 please use the ATM.\u201dThe old man wanted to k<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

6. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery,and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son.\u201cYes Dad, what is it?\u201d\u201cDon’t be nervous, son; do your<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

7. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

\u2026 after taking some time to size Jim up and decide that he can trust him, Carl tells Jim about his plan to escape.\u201cYou see, \u201d Carl says \u201cfor the first 5 years I was inside, I trained my digestive system to follow my command.\u00a0 Now I can eat something and i<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

8. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

Two hunters were off on their annual trip to the wilderness of Canadian to bag moose.As the seaplane landed on the lake in a remote area, the pilot said, \u201cI’ll be back in exactly one week to pick you upBut remember \u2013 only one moose, please.\u201dWhen he return<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

9. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

\u201cIt ain’t my fault this time, Miss RussellYou can blame this \u2018un on my Daddy.The reason I’m three hours late is my Daddy sleeps naked!\u201dNow, Miss Russell had taught grammar school for 30-some-odd years.Despite her mounting fears, she asked little Ranger wh<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

10. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

The patient’s family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say.\u201cThings don’t look good.The only chance is a brain transplant.This is an experimental procedure.It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to p<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

11. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

A reverend awoke one morning to find a dead donkey in his front yard.
He had no idea how it got there, but he knew he had to get rid of it.
He called the sanitation department, the health department and several other agencies, but no one seemed able<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

12. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:\u00a0\u2018Hi, how are you?’\u00a0I’m not the type to start a conversation in the restroom but I don’t know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed,\u00a0\u2018Doin’ just fine!’And the other<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

13. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

A group of guys, all age 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch.
Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View Restaurant because the waitresses there were gorgeous, with lovely legs, lovely smiles and and great personalities.<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

14. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

Back in the old Wild West, there were two stupid scoundrels, Jeff and Dave.
One day, the two were enjoying a strong sasparilla in the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with an Indian\u2019s head under his arm.
The barman shakes his hand and sa<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

15. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard.I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of.He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head.He then followed me into my house, slowly walked d<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

16. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

The policeman approaches the driver’s door.\u201cIs there a problem, Officer?\u201dThe policeman says, \u201cSir, you were speedingCan I see your licence please?\u201dThe driver responds, \u201cI’d give it to you but I don’t have one.\u201d\u201cYou don’t have one?\u201dThe man responds, \u201cI los<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

17. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

A\u00a0 woman walks into the City Centralist office, trailed\u00a0 by 15 kids .. \u201cWOW,\u201d\u00a0 the social worker exclaims, \u201cAre they ALL\u00a0 yours?\u201d
\u201cYeah,\u00a0 they are all mine,\u201d the flustered mother\u00a0 sighs, having\u00a0 heard that question a thousand times\u00a0 before.
She says<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

18. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

He starts dialing numbers on his hand, like a telephone, and talking into his hand.The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn’t need any trouble here.The guy says, \u201cYou don’t understandI’m very hi-techI had a pho<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

19. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

A mobile phone on a bench rings, and a man puts the phone on speaker and begins to talk as he puts on his golf shoes.\u00a0 Everyone else in the room stops to listen.Man: \u201cHello?\u201dWoman: \u201cHoney, its me.\u00a0 Are you at the club?\u201dMan: \u201cYes.\u201dWoman: \u201cI’m at the mall n<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

20. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

A little Johnny hears the word whorehouse in school and asks his father what it means.
His father is quite shocked, and replies,
\u201cWell, uh\u2026 you go there to\u2026have a good time.\u201d
The little Johnny starts screaming and hollering that he wants to go th<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

21. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

Four married guys go fishingAfter an hour, the following conversation took place:First guy: \u201cYou have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekendI had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.\u201dSeco<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

22. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty.He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly froze in his tracks when a loud cried out:\u201cJesus is watching you.\u201dSilence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.\u201cJes<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

23. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

Tom could only hope that somewhere amid the overwhelming destruction he would find his 16-year-old sonOnly the slim hope of finding Alex kept him from turning and fleeing the sceneHe took a deep breath and proceeded.Walking was virtually impossible with s<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

24. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer.
However, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, the zookeeper grabs him and forcefully drags him into his office. The zookeeper then explains to the m<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

25. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache.Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache.Finally his <\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

26. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

A man walks into his doctor’s office and puts a note on the table for the doctor to read.It said, \u201cI can’t talk! Help me!\u201dThe doctor nodded sagely, and instructed the man to put his thumb on the table.The man thinks to himself that his thumb has nothing t<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

27. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency.An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor.\u201cSo, what is it?\u201d grumbled the governor.\u201cJudge Gerber has just died\u201d said the att<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

28. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

Three Scotsmen were sitting in a bar together.
When I die, said the old Scot, I would like one of you to pour a bottle of the best Scottish whisky over my grave.
We will do that for you, said one of the younger men.
But do you mind if it passes t<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

29. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 betThe bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patronAnyone who could squeeze one more drop <\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

30. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

A farmer was taking three of his donkeys for sale to the market.
On the way, he saw a river and decided to have a dip.
Since he had only two ropes to tie the donkeys to a tree, he looked around wondering how to tie the third one.
He saw a sage an<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1. An Irishman is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.The drunk proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher.The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell 2. From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1103","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nHilarious jokes you can't stop sharing with friends and family 02 - Abhinay Narayan Singh<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.abhinaynarayan.com\/blog\/hilarious-jokes-you-cant-stop-sharing-with-friends-and-family-02\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Hilarious jokes you can't stop sharing with friends and family 02 - Abhinay Narayan Singh\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"1. An Irishman is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.The drunk proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher.The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell 2. From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple ... 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An Irishman is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.The drunk proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher.The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell 2. From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple ... 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