{"id":1136,"date":"2025-03-07T21:55:38","date_gmt":"2025-03-07T16:25:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.abhinaynarayan.com\/blog\/?p=1136"},"modified":"2025-03-07T21:55:40","modified_gmt":"2025-03-07T16:25:40","slug":"%f0%9f%a4%a3-if-you-love-jokes-youll-love-this-collection-%f0%9f%98%82-07","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.abhinaynarayan.com\/blog\/%f0%9f%a4%a3-if-you-love-jokes-youll-love-this-collection-%f0%9f%98%82-07\/","title":{"rendered":"\ud83e\udd23 If You Love Jokes, You\u2019ll Love This Collection! \ud83d\ude02 07"},"content":{"rendered":"
1. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guy a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it.
\n\u201cThis is your suspect, how would you recognize him?\u201d
\nThe first guy answers, \u201cThat\u2019s easy, we\u2019ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!\u201d
\nThe policeman says, \u201cWell\u2026 uh\u2026 that\u2019s because the picture I showed is his side profile.\u201d
\nSlightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, \u201cThis is your suspect, how would you recognize him?\u201d
\nThe second guy smiles and says, \u201cHa! He\u2019d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!\u201d
\nThe policeman angrily responds, \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it\u2019s a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?\u201d
\nExtremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks,
\n\u201cThis is your suspect, how would you recognize him?\u201d
\nHe quickly adds, \u201cThink hard before giving me a stupid answer.\u201d
\nThe guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, \u201cThe suspect wears contact lenses.\u201d
\nThe policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn\u2019t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
\n\u201cWell, that\u2019s an interesting answer wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I\u2019ll get back to you on that.\u201d
\nHe leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect\u2019s file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
\n\u201cWow! I can\u2019t believe it. It\u2019s TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?\u201d
\n\u201cThat\u2019s easy,\u201d the guy replied. \u201cHe can\u2019t wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.\u201d
\nA motorcycle police officer
\nA man had a parrot of which<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

2. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

An old farmer and his wife had a bunch of pigs, and every morning the farmer would head out to feed them.
\nAnd every morning, he would see all the pigs make love up a storm.
\nHe would get turned on by this and try to get back to the house in time to make love his wife but he always got soft before he got there.
\nSo one day, he took his hatchet and headed out to the pigpen.
\n\u201cNo!\u201d said his wife.
\n\u201cDon\u2019t kill those pigs!\u201d
\n\u201cI\u2019m not going to kill them. I\u2019m moving the pen closer to the house.\u201d
\nA elderly guy sticks his head in the barbershop
\nA man owns a rabbit farm<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

3. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

A Guy walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender.
\nJust as the bartender is about to ask the customer for his order he hears a phone ring.
\nThe customer puts his hand up to his ear and says, \u201cHello? No honey, I\u2019ll be home in 20 minutes, love
\nyou, bye.\u201d
\nThe bartender says, \u201cWhat the heck is that?\u201d
\nThe customer replies \u201cIt\u2019s my hand phone..give me your home number so you can try it.\u201d
\nWith that, the bartender gives him his home number and the customer punches the numbers in on his hand and puts his hand up to the bartender\u2019s ear.
\nThe bartender\u2019s wife answers and he who is very amazed says, \u201cI\u2026honey\u2026 just thought I\u2019d call you and tell you I love you OK bye.\u201d
\nThe bartender says, \u201cThat\u2019s amazing! How do you get one?\u201d
\n\u201cI\u2019ll tell you when I get back from the restroom.\u201d
\n30 minutes later there is no sign of the customer and the bartender is getting concerned so he walks to the restroom to make sure the guy is OK.
\nWhen he enters he finds the guy with his pants around his ankles, bent over with his palms on the wall and a long piece of toilet paper hanging out of his bum.
\n\u201cWhat the hell are you doing?\u201d asks the incredulous bartender.
\n\u201cGive me a second,\u201d the man replies as he grunts and groans, \u201cI\u2019m getting a fax.\u201d
\nA young blonde lady went on a tour
\nA man goes to take out a loan<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

4. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

An estranged father take his teenage daughter on a vacation to reconnect with her after her mother passed away
\nThe two check into the resort hotel & spend the day relaxing by the pool & getting to know each other
\nThe next morning the man comes down to reception to order some fresh towels & the concierge ask him how the reconnection going with her
\nHe say to the concierge everything going far better than he expected & he asks the concierge to have a large quantity of lettuce & carrots sent to the room with the towels
\nThe concierge asks him why he want so much lettuce & carrots & the man replies \u201cI want to see if she eats like a rabbit too\u201d
\nAn older woman gets pulled over for speeding
\nA pregnant woman walking across the street<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

5. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

In a neighbourhood, there was a brothel closing down and selling or giving away furniture.
\nAlongside the furniture was a parrot that was left behind, which had earned an experience from looking around and hearing stuff there.
\nSo an elderly wife with two children, a son and a daughter, decided to go and look for any good deals there.
\nAs she was looking around she found the parrot that was being sold so she decided she would buy and take the parrot home because it would\u2019ve been a pity if she left it behind.
\nSo she took the parrot home and left it at the kitchen in its cage.
\nSo later on the wife went to take something to eat from the fridge. The parrot goes:
\n\u201cNew bawd I see\u201d
\nLater the daughter went to make some coffee.
\n\u201cNew hoe I see\u201d
\nAfter that, the son went to get some water
\n\u201cNew pimp I see\u201d
\nAnd then the dad went to make something to eat. The parrot goes:
\n\u201cNew bawd, pimp and hoe but at least John is still here
\nThree ducks went to court
\nI wanted to pick up a few more tennis balls<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

6. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

Tom was in his early 50s, retired and started a second career.
\nHowever, he just couldn\u2019t seem to get to work on time every day he was five, ten or fifteen minutes late.
\nBut as he was a good worker and very sharp, the boss was in a quandary about how to deal with it.
\nFinally, one day he called Tom into his office for a talk.
\n\u201cTom, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job, but your being late so often is quite bothersome.\u201d
\n\u201cYes, I know boss and I am working on it.\u201d
\n\u201cWell good, you are a team player.
\nThat\u2019s what I like to hear It\u2019s odd though, your coming in late.
\nI know you\u2019re retired from the Air Force what did they say if you came in late there?\u201d
\n\u201cThey said, \u2018Good morning, General\u2019.\u201d
\nEdna are both mental patients
\nA water bearer in India had two large pot<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

7. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

An elderly couple who had just celebrated their fiftieth anniversary were sitting on their porch, relaxing.
\nBoth were simply reading a book and rocking on their chairs.
\nWhen suddenly, the wife looks at her husband and whacks him across the head, and goes back to her knitting.
\nHer husband, puzzled, asks, \u201cWhat was that for?\u201d
\nShe replied, \u201cThat was for 50 years of bad make love.\u201d
\nHe goes back to his newspaper, but a few minutes later, he looks at his wife and whacks her across the head.
\nThe wife, also puzzled asks him, \u201cWhat was that for?\u201d
\nNot looking up from his newspaper, the husband answers, \u201cThat is for knowing the difference.\u201d
\nA older couple were lying in bed
\nA couple in their nineties were both having problems<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

8. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

The very snobbish woman was discussing the subject of Christmas presents with her maid.
\n\u201cNow what about the butler\u201d the rich woman said?
\n\u201cA set of wine glasses\u201d the maid suggested?
\nThe woman frowned icily.
\n\u201cHe doesn\u2019t really need that. A butler never entertains. He\u2019ll get a tie\u201d.
\nThe maid grimaced, but said only, \u201cWhat about a dress for Jenny, the serving girl\u201d?
\nThe woman frowned again. \u201cShe doesn\u2019t really need a new dress. She\u2019ll only get in trouble. We\u2019ll get her another apron\u201d.
\nThe conversation continued in the same vein, and the maid was chafing at her employer\u2019s arrogance when they reached her husband.
\n\u201cI assume you want to get him something he really needs, madam\u201d? the maid replied.
\n\u201cOf course\u201d, the woman replied.
\n\u201cThen what about three more inches\u201d? said the maid.
\nA lawyer and a blonde woman are sitting
\nA old man and his wife lived in the hills<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

9. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

A man knocked at his Bedouin friend\u2019s door to ask him a favor:
\n\u201cI want you to lend me four thousand dinars because I have a debt to pay can you do that for me?\u201d
\nThe friend asked his wife to gather together everything they had of value, but even so it was not enough.
\nThey had to go out and borrow money from the neighbors until they managed to get the full amount.
\nWhen the man left, the woman noticed that her husband was crying.
\n\u201cWhy are you sad? Now that we\u2019ve got ourselves in debt with our neighbors, are you afraid we won\u2019t be able to repay them?\u201d
\n\u201cNothing of the sort! I\u2019m crying because he is someone I love so much, but even so I had no idea he was in need.
\n\u201cI only remembered him when he had to knock on my door to ask me for a loan.\u201d
\nThe porcupines decided to group
\nTwo hunters from Moscow charter<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

10. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

The detective walks around the scene and writes in his little book.
\nThey turn a corner and see a pair of legs sticking out from behind a bush.
\nThey push the bush aside and find a woman dead and completely undressed.
\nThey call the police and as they wait, they decide to cover the woman up.
\nThe Cubs fan takes of his hat and covers her left fronts.
\nThe Royals fan takes off his hat and covers her right fronts.
\nThe Yankees fan takes off his hat and covers her crotch.
\nThe police arrive.
\nThe detective walks around the scene and writes in his little book.
\nHe lifts the Cubs hat, looks underneath, sets it back down and writes in his little book.
\nHe lifts the Royals hat, looks underneath, sets it back down and writes in his little book.
\nHe the lifts the Yankees hat, looks underneath, starts to set it back down, stops, does a double-take, sets the hat back down slowly and starts to write in the little book.
\nThe Yankees fan is upset by this. He asks, \u201cWhat was that? Haven\u2019t you seen one of those before?\u201d
\nThe detective replies, \u201cYou misunderstand. Normally when I look under a Yankees hat,
\nThe pilot announced
\nHe knocked on the door of one house<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

11. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

They decide to meet for tea and discuss their lives.
\nThe first older lady starts telling the second about all the wonderful things her husband has done for her over her life.
\n\u201cSee this big ol\u2019 ring right here on my finger? My husband bought me that, because he loves me.\u201d
\nSecond lady, \u201cWell, isn\u2019t that nice.\u201d
\nFirst lady, \u201cSee that big ol\u2019 nice car out there? My husband bought me that, because he loves me.\u201d
\nSecond lady, \u201cWell, isn\u2019t that nice.\u201d
\nFirst lady pulls out her phone and starts showing the other pictures of her house.
\n\u201cSee this big ol\u2019 house right here? My husband bought me that, because he loves me.\u201d
\nSecond lady, \u201cWell, isn\u2019t that nice.\u201d
\nFirst lady, \u201cWell now, I\u2019ve been going on and on about my husband, what has yours done for you?\u201d
\nSecond lady, \u201cMy husband sent me to finishing school.\u201d
\nFirst lady, with an incredulous tone, \u201cNow why would he do something like that?!\u201d
\nSecond lady, \u201cSo I\u2019d learn to say things like, \u2018Well, isn\u2019t that nice\u2019, instead of, \u2018What the f\u2014 ever\u2019\u201d.
\nThe Sleepy Teacher
\nThe doctor tells him<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

12. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

On his way to the protest site he sees one guy dressed from head to toe in red standing on the side of the highway gesturing him to stop.
\nOur guy rolls down the window and asks, \u201cHow can I help you?\u201d
\n\u201cI am the red bast..
\nof the asphalt, you got something to eat?\u201d
\nWith a smile on his face he hands one of his sandwiches to the red dressed guy and drives away
\nNot even five minutes later he comes across another guy.
\nThis time the guy is dressed fully in yellow, standing on the side and waving him to stop.
\nA bit irritated our guy stops, cranks down the window and asks, \u201cWhat can I do for you?\u201d
\n\u201cI am the yellow bast of the asphalt, you got something to drink?\u201d
\nHardly managing to smile this time he hands to the guy a can of soda and then stomps on the pedal and takes off again.
\nIn order to make it to the protest site before sunset he decides to go faster and not to stop no matter what.
\nTo his frustration he sees another guy on the side of the road, dressed all in blue, making a hand signal to stop him.
\nNot quite willing our guy decides to stop a last time.
\nHe rolls his window down and yells to the guy, \u201cI know, you\u2019re the blue bast of the asphalt but just what the heck do you want?\u201d
\nA gnat annoyed with a lion for disturbing
\nA Polish man had married a Canadian girl<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

13. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

An old man and his wife lived deep in the hills and seldom saw many people.
\nOne day a peddler came by to sell his goods and asked the man if he or his wife wanted to buy something.
\n\u201cWell, my wife ain\u2019t home, she\u2019s gone down to the creek to wash clothes, but lemma see what you got,\u201d said the man.
\nThe peddler showed him pots and pans, tools and gadgets, but the old man wasn\u2019t interested.
\nThen the man spotted a mirror and said, \u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d
\nBefore the peddler could tell him it was a mirror, the old man picked it up and said,
\n\u201cMy God how\u2019d you get a picture of my Pappy?\u201d
\nThe old man was so happy, he traded his wife\u2019s best pitcher for it.
\nThe peddler left before the wife came back and spoiled his sale.
\nThe old man was worried that the wife would be mad at him for trading her best pitcher, so he hid it in the barn behind some boxes of junk.
\nHe would go out to the barn 2 or 3 times a day to look at the \u201cpicture\u201d and eventually the wife got suspicious.
\nOne day she got fed up and after he retired for the night, she went out to the barn.
\nShe saw the mirror behind the boxes, picked it up and said,
\n\u201cso this is the hussy he\u2019s been fooling\u2019 around with!\u201d
\nThe woman was discussing with her maid
\nA man called his doctor<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

14. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

A man went to his lawyer and told him, \u201cMy neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn\u2019t want to pay up. What should I do?\u201d
\n\u201cDo you have any proof?\u201d asked the lawyer.
\n\u201cNope,\u201d replied the man.
\n\u201cOkay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1000 he owed you,\u201d said the lawyer.
\n\u201cBut it\u2019s only $500,\u201d replied the man.
\n\u201cPrecisely. That\u2019s what he will reply and we will have the proof we need to nail him.\u201d
\nTwo men waiting at the pearly gates
\nThis guy says to his buddy<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

15. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

Little Johnny runs to his dad and says, \u201cDad, there\u2019s water in the carburetor of the car!\u201d
\n\u201cHow can you be so sure?\u201d the father asks.
\n\u201cI just know there is,\u201d replies Little Johnny.
\n\u201cDo you even know what a carburetor is?\u201d
\n\u201cNo,\u201d says Little Johnny.
\n\u201cOK, where is the car?\u201d
\n\u201cIn the lake.\u201d
\nJoey goes into a pharmacy
\nA son challenged his father game of golf<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

16. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

A cop pulls over a car full of nuns.
\nThe cop says, \u201cSister, the speed limit on this highway is 55 mph. Why are you going so slow?\u201d
\nSister replies, \u201cI saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55.\u201d
\nThe copy says, \u201cSister, that\u2019s the name of the highway, not the speed limit.\u201d
\n\u201cSilly me,\u201d the embarrassed nun says.
\n\u201cThanks for letting me know. I\u2019ll be more careful.\u201d
\nBut then the copy glances in the back seat where the other nuns are quaking with fear.
\nHe asks, \u201cExcuse me, Sister, what\u2019s wrong with your friends?\u201d
\nSister says, \u201cOh, we just got off Highway 101.\u201d
\nTwo tourists were driving through
\nA policeman stops a lady<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

17. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in make love.
\nThe doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it\u2019s still experimental.
\nHe tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that.
\nAbout a week later, she\u2019s back at the doctor, where she says, \u201cDoc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn\u2019t five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!\u201d
\nThe doctor says, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, we didn\u2019t realize the pill was that strong! The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages.\u201d
\n\u201cNah,\u201d she says, \u201cthat\u2019s okay. We\u2019re never going back to that restaurant anyway.\u201d
\nThere were five people aboard an airplane
\nThe bartender asks the guy sitting<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

18. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

Following a vow of silence, none of the monks were allowed to speak at all.
\nBut there was one exception to this rule every ten years, the monks were permitted to speak just two words.
\nAfter spending his first ten years at the monastery, one monk went to the head monk.
\n\u201cIt has been ten years,\u201d said the head monk.
\n\u201cWhat are the two words you would like to speak?\u201d
\n\u201cBed\u2026 hard\u2026\u201d said the monk.
\n\u201cI see,\u201d replied the head monk.
\nTen years later, the monk returned to the head monk\u2019s office.
\n\u201cIt has been ten more years,\u201d said the head monk.
\n\u201cWhat are the two words you would like to speak?\u201d
\n\u201cFood\u2026 awful\u2026\u201d said the monk.
\n\u201cI see,\u201d replied the head monk.
\nYet another ten years passed and the monk once again met with the head monk who asked, \u201cWhat are your two words now, after these ten years?\u201d
\nThe priest asks a little Joey
\nA Samurai who was known<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

19. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees wasn\u2019t in and had not phoned in sick one day.
\nHaving an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee\u2019s home phone number and was greeted with a child\u2019s whisper: \u201cHello?\u201d
\n\u201cIs your daddy home?\u201d He asked.
\n\u201cYes.\u201d Whispered the small voice.
\n\u201cMay I talk with him?\u201d
\nThe child whispered. \u201cNo.\u201d
\nSurprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked. \u201cIs your Mommy there?\u201d
\n\u201cYes.\u201d
\n\u201cMay I talk with her?\u201d
\nAgain the small voice whispered. \u201cNo.\u201d
\nHoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked.
\n\u201cIs anybody else there?\u201d
\n\u201cYes.\u201d Whispered the child. \u201cA policeman.\u201d
\nWondering what a cop would be doing at his employee\u2019s home, the boss asked.
\n\u201cMay I speak with the policeman?\u201d
\n\u201cNo, he\u2019s busy.\u201d Whispered the child.
\n\u201cBusy doing what?\u201d
\n\u201cTalking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman.\u201d Came the whispered answer.
\nGrowing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked.
\n\u201cWhat is that noise?\u201d
\n\u201cA helicopter.\u201d Answered the whispering voice.
\n\u201cWhat is going on there?\u201d Demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
\nAgain, whispering, the child answered.
\n\u201cThe search team just landed a helicopter.\u201d
\nAlarmed, concerned, and a little frustrated the boss asked: \u201cWhat are they searching for?\u201d
\nStill whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle \u201cMe.\u201d
\nA Football team was on the field during practice
\nA lost dog strays into a jungle<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

20. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet
\nThe bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron
\nAnyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money
\nMany people had tried\u2026
\nover time: weightlifters, dockers, etc., but nobody could do it.
\nOne day, this scrawny little fellow came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a small voice, \u201cI\u2019d like to try the bet.\u201d
\nAfter the laughter had died down, the bartender said, \u201cOK\u201d; grabbed the lemon; and squeezed away
\nThen he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little fellow But the Crowd\u2019s laughter turned to total silence\u2026
\nas the man clenched his little fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass.
\nAs the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man: \u201cWhat do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?\u201d
\nThe little fellow quietly replied: \u201cI work for the Australian Taxation Office
\nA doctor entered the hospital
\nThe first snow of the season<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

21. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

Mother superior tells two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes.
\nOne nun suggests to the other, \u201cHey, let\u2019s take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door.\u201d
\nSo they do this, and begin painting their room.
\nSoon they hear a knock at the door.
\nThey ask, \u201cWho is it?\u201d \u201cBlind man!\u201d
\nThe nuns look at each other and one nun says, \u201cHe\u2019s blind, so he can\u2019t see. What could it hurt?\u201d
\nThey let him in. The blind man walks in and says,
\n\u201cHey, nice melons. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?\u201d
\nA drunk staggers into a Catholic Church
\nA man dies goes to Heaven<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

22. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

Three guys are on a plane, ones black, ones white, and ones Mexican.
\nThe pilot says: \u201cthere\u2019s to much weight you all need to throw something off the plane.\u201d
\nThe black guy throws his Jordan\u2019s and says: \u201cwe have to many of these in our country.\u201d
\nThe Mexican throws off his lawn mower and says: \u201cwe have to many of these in our country.\u201d
\nThe white guys throws the Mexican and says: \u201cwe have to many of these in our country.\u201d
\nA little girl and a little boy
\nDuring lunch at work last week<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

23. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

Three women worked in the same office with the same female boss.
\nEach day, the boss left work early.
\nOne day, the women decided that when the boss left they would leave too.
\nAfter all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early?
\nThe brunette was thrilled to be home early.
\nShe did a little gardening, had some playtime with her son and went to bed early.
\nThe redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before meeting a dinner date.
\nThe blonde was happy to get home early and surprise her husband.
\nBut when she got home, she heard a muffled noise coming from inside her bedroom.
\nSlowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her boss!
\nGently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.
\nThe next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead said they planned to leave early again and they asked the blonde if she was going to go with them.
\n\u201cNo way,\u201d she said, \u201cI almost got caught yesterday!\u201d
\nA co-worker told John
\nA female reporter was conducting an interview<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

24. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

John O\u2019Reilly hoisted his beer and said,
\n\u201cHere\u2019s to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!\u201d
\nThat won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary,
\n\u201cI won the prize for the best toast of the night.\u201d
\nShe said, \u201cAye, did ye now. And what was your toast?\u201d
\nJohn said, \u201cHere\u2019s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.\u201d
\n\u201cOh, that is very nice indeed, John!\u201d Mary said.
\nThe next day, Mary ran into one of John\u2019s drinking buddies on the street corner.
\nThe man chuckled jeeringly and said,
\n\u201cJohn won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.\u201d
\nShe said, \u201cAye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself.
\nYou know he\u2019s only been there twice in the last four years.
\nOnce he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.\u201d
\nBrian proposed to Jill
\nA Little 10-year-old girl was walking home<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

25. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

A mother and father took their 6 year old son to a undressed beach.
\nAs the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had melons bigger than his mother\u2019s, and asked her why.
\nShe told her son, \u201cThe bigger they are the dumber the person is.\u201d
\nThe boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger members than his dad.
\nHis mother replied, \u201cThe bigger they are the dumber the person is.\u201d
\nAgain satisfied with his answer, the boy returns to the ocean to play.
\nShortly after, the boy returned again.
\nHe promptly told his mother, \u201cDaddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets.\u201d
\nA elderly man made his final request to his wife
\nMy wife told me to go to the doctors<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

26. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

One evening a husband and wife were in bed.
\nThe husband was reading a book, and the wife was watching TV.
\nThe husband reaches over and puts his hand in his wife\u2019s undergarment then withdraws his hand.
\nThe wife was surprised by this and thought perhaps her husband was in the mood for a little love.
\nA short time later the husband again reaches into his wife\u2019s undergarment then withdraws his hand.
\nNow the wife is almost sure that her husband is in the mood.
\nShe decides to wait for him to touch her a third time and then she will know for sure.
\nThe husband repeats the same move again.
\nShe leaves the bed, removes her clothes, and returns ready for lovemaking.
\nHer husband, still reading his book, is surprised when she says, \u201cDear, I\u2019m all ready!\u201d
\nThe husband asks, \u201cFor what?
\nShe says, \u201cWell, for make love, dear! You\u2019ve fingered me three times in the last 5 minutes, and now I\u2019m ready!\u201d
\nThe husband replies, \u201cHuh? lovemaking?? I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages of my book.\u201d
\nA teacher is teaching a class
\nA mother took 6-year-old son<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

27. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

A Man asks every night before going to bed:
\n\u201cOh Lord, make me win the main prize in the lottery!\u201d
\nSo it goes year in and year out Man gets old and rickety over the years,
\nbut every evening he asks: \u201cLord, make me win the main prize in the lottery!\u201d
\nOne evening a voice replied:
\n\u201c Man, give me a chance! Buy a lot!
\nA man goes to the doctor
\nDuring a visit to a closed institution<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

28. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

Two man decide to go duck hunting.
\nNeither one of them has ever been duck hunting before and after several hours they still haven\u2019t bagged any.
\nOne hunter looks at the other and says, \u201cI just don\u2019t understand it.
\nWhy aren\u2019t we getting any ducks?\u201d
\nHer friend says \u201cI keep telling you, I just don\u2019t think we\u2019re throwing the dog high enough.\u201d
\nA blonde was suffering
\nA guy asked a girl in a university library<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

29. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.
\nHe gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
\nThe woman notices this and asks, \u2018Is your date running late?\u2019
\n\u2018No\u2019, he replies, \u2018I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it.\u2019
\nThe intrigued woman says, \u2018A state-of-the-art watch? What\u2019s so special about it?\u2019
\n\u2018It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me,\u2019 he explains.
\n\u2018What\u2019s it telling you now?\u2019
\n\u2018Well, it says you\u2019re not wearing any undergarment.\u2019
\nThe woman giggles and replies, \u2018Well it must be broken then because I am wearing undergarment!\u2019
\nThe man explains, \u2018Damn thing must be an hour fast.\u2019
\nA man is traveling through the jungle
\nA man is sitting on a train<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

30. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

A man goes to the doctor and says, \u201cDoctor, I\u2019ve got this problem you see, only you\u2019ve got to promise not to laugh\u201d.
\nThe doctor replies, \u201cOf course I won\u2019t laugh!
\nThat would be thoroughly unprofessional.
\nIn over twenty years of being a doctor I\u2019ve never laughed at a patient.\u201d
\n\u201cOK then,\u201d says the man, and he drops his trousers.
\nThe doctor is greeted by the sight of the tiniest weenie he has ever seen in his life.
\nDespite his best efforts, he begins laughing, softly at first, then uncontrollably.
\nSeveral minutes later he manages to compose himself and wipes the tears from his eyes.
\n\u201cI\u2019m so sorry,\u201d he says to the patient.
\n\u201cI don\u2019t know what came over me, I won\u2019t let it happen again.
\nNow what seems to be the problem?
\nThe man looks up at the doctor with sad eyes and says, \u201cIt\u2019s swollen.\u201d
\nA man goes into a restaurant
\nA boy starts his first day at Walmart<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guy a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. \u201cThis is your suspect, how would you recognize him?\u201d The first guy answers, \u201cThat\u2019s easy, we\u2019ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!\u201d The policeman says, \u201cWell\u2026 uh\u2026 that\u2019s because … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1136","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n\ud83e\udd23 If You Love Jokes, You\u2019ll Love This Collection! \ud83d\ude02 07 - Abhinay Narayan Singh<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.abhinaynarayan.com\/blog\/\ud83e\udd23-if-you-love-jokes-youll-love-this-collection-\ud83d\ude02-07\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"\ud83e\udd23 If You Love Jokes, You\u2019ll Love This Collection! \ud83d\ude02 07 - Abhinay Narayan Singh\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"1. 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To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guy a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. \u201cThis is your suspect, how would you recognize him?\u201d The first guy answers, \u201cThat\u2019s easy, we\u2019ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!\u201d The policeman says, \u201cWell\u2026 uh\u2026 that\u2019s because ... 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