{"id":1194,"date":"2025-03-11T17:42:10","date_gmt":"2025-03-11T12:12:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.abhinaynarayan.com\/blog\/?p=1194"},"modified":"2025-03-11T17:42:11","modified_gmt":"2025-03-11T12:12:11","slug":"these-jokes-are-too-funny-to-keep-to-yourself-04","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.abhinaynarayan.com\/blog\/these-jokes-are-too-funny-to-keep-to-yourself-04\/","title":{"rendered":"These Jokes Are Too Funny to Keep to Yourself 04"},"content":{"rendered":"
1. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

So there was this female business executive who was late for a meeting.
\nShe is going 65 on a street where the speed limit is 40.
\nA cop pulls her over and says \u201cma\u2019am, can I please see your license?\u201d
\nShe says \u201cI\u2019m sorry, officer, but I got it revoked two years ago for drunk driving.\u201d
\nHis brow furrows and he straightens up.
\n\u201cWell, can I please see the registration of your car?\u201d
\nShe says \u201cI stole the car and I killed the driver; he\u2019s in the trunk.\u201d
\n\u201cMa\u2019am, DON\u2019T MOVE, I\u2019m calling for backup.\u201d
\nHe mutters furiously into his walkie-talkie\u2026 Five minutes later, half the squad pulls up, the Chief of Police walks over to the woman\u2019s window.
\n\u201cMa\u2019am, can I see your license?\u201d he asks sternly.
\n\u201cOf course, officer,\u201d she smiles demurely and pulls out a license from her purse.
\nHe squints warily at it.
\n\u201cThis looks legitimate,\u201d he mumbles.
\n\u201cCan I see the registration to this car?\u201d
\nShe pulls it out of the glove compartment and hands it to him.
\n\u201cMa\u2019am, stand back!\u201d
\nHe bangs open the trunk of the car and flinches: but it was completely empty\u2026 The woman brandishes a finger at the first cop and says accusingly, \u201cAnd I\u2019ll bet that liar told you I was speeding too!!\u201d
\nHe watched as old lady boarded
\nJohn Sam and Abe three retired friends<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

2. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

Frank went to the gym as he wants to loose weight to get a girlfriend.
\nThe receptionist gave him some promotion pack options of \u201cloose 1kg guaranteed\u201d, \u201cloose 3 kg guaranteed\u201d, \u201cloose 5kg guaranteed\u201d and \u201cloose 10kg guarantees\u201d.
\nHowever you must do 1 then 3 then 5 then 10.
\nHe accepted the offer and the receptionist told him to wait at home.
\nThe next day, the doorbell rang.
\nFrank opened the door to a hot girl standing with a sign around her neck saying \u201ccatch me and I\u2019m yours\u201d.
\nThe girl took off and Frank went running after her for 10km.
\nUnable to catch, he went back home.
\nAfter the exhaustion wore off, he found that he lost 1 kg.
\nDelighted, he immediately went back to the gym and signed up for the 3kg package.
\nThe next day, the doorbell rang again.
\nFrank opened the door to an even hotter girl, shirtless with the same sign.
\nAgain, she took off and he ran after her. This time for 20km.
\nFrank was again unable to catch.
\nSo he went home disappointed, until he found that he lost 3kg.
\nSo again, he went back to the gym for round 3, 5kg.
\nThe next day, the doorbell rang.
\nIt was an even hotter girl, only wearing corset, thongs and running shoes with a sign, \u201ccatch me and I\u2019m yours\u201d.
\nHe chased her until sunset, nearly catching her.
\nHe went home excited.
\nFinding himself loosing 5kg, and that he\u2019d catch the next one, maybe a completely undressed hot women.
\nHe went to the gym for the 10kg package.
\nHe turned around to find a buffed bodybuilder with a sign around his neck.
\n\u201cCatch you, and you\u2019re mine.\u201d
\nThree Nuns Are Talking
\nOne day, there were two boys<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

3. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

One evening, Little Johnny, his brother Little Jimmy, and their dad, sat down to eat supper.
\nThe dad turned to Little Jimmy and asked,
\n\u201cLittle Jimmy, what would you like to eat first?\u201d
\nTo this Little Jimmy replied,
\n\u201cI want some of them bang\u2019 peas.\u201d
\nIn a flash, dad slapped the sh!t out of Little Jimmy.
\n\u201cNow what did you want to eat first Jimmy?\u201d asked the dad.
\n\u201cI want some of them bang\u2019 peas,\u201d said Jimmy.
\nDad then backhanded Little Jimmy clean out of his chair and halfway across the room.
\nLittle Jimmy shook it off and promptly returned to the table.
\nReturning to the table, short of breath, and trying to regain his composure, the dad turned to his other son Little Johnny and calmly asked,
\n\u201cWell Little Johnny, just what would you like to eat first?\u201d
\nLittle Johnny, glancing at his brother on the floor, turned back to his dad and quickly exclaimed,
\n\u201cWell you can bet your sweet bum, it ain\u2019t none of them bang\u2019 Peas!\u201d
\nJohnny down to the pond to get some water
\nThe teacher asked Little Johnny<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

4. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

A lady came in for a routine physical at the doctor\u2019s office.
\n\u201cHere\u201d, said the nurse, handing her a urine specimen container.
\n\u201cThe bathroom is over there on your right.
\nThe doctor will be with you in a few minutes.
\nA few minutes later the lady came out of the bathroom with an empty container and a relieved look on her face.
\n\u201cThanks! But they had a toilet in there, so I didn\u2019t need this after all!\u201d
\nA blond man entered the emergency
\nEdward was lying on his deathbed<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

5. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

Two women are walking home from the bar when they both feel the need to pee, so they slip into a nearby cemetery.
\nOne of them uses her underwear to wipe, while the other grabs a wreath off a headstone.
\nThe next evening, the husbands meet at the bar.
\nOne looks at the other and says, \u201cI think I need to keep an eye on my wife\u2014she came home without her underwear last night.\u201d
\nThe other husband responds, \u201cWell, mine came home with a card wedged in her bum that said, \u2018You were loved and will be missed by the entire fire department.\u2019\u201d
\nThree guys go to a ski lodge
\nA watermelon farmer was determined<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

6. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

There was a loser who couldn\u2019t get a date.
\nHe went to a bar and asked this one guy how to get a date.
\nThe guy said, \u201cIt\u2019s simple.
\nI just say, I\u2019m a lawyer.\u201d
\nSo the guy went up to a pretty woman and asked her out.
\nAfter she said \u201cNo,\u201d he told her that it was probably a good thing because he had a case early in the morning.
\nShe said, \u201cOh!!!! Your a lawyer?\u201d
\nHe said, \u201cWhy,\u2026 Yes I am!\u201d
\nSo they went to his place and when they were in bed, lovemaking, he started to laugh to himself.
\nWhen she asked what was so funny, he answered, \u201cWell, I\u2019ve only been a lawyer for 15 minutes, and I\u2019m already lovemaking someone.
\nOne knight told his best friend
\nYoung lady drove a little yellow sports car<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

7. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

I have such a dilemma.
\nThere is a guy at my gym with no legs.
\nAnd I feel really awkward around him every time I see him.
\nSo I tried to make a connection.
\nI said, \u2018Hey Dan. Working on arms again today?\u2019
\nA squirrel
\nYou Know You\u2019re Addicted<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

8. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their love lives.
\nOne woman said, \u201cI call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does.\u201d
\nThe second woman giggled and confessed, \u201cI call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft.\u201d
\nThe third woman quietly sipped her whiskey until her friend asked, \u201cSay, what do you call your husband?\u201d
\nShe frowned and said, \u201cThe postman.\u201d
\n\u201cWhy the postman?\u201d
\n\u201cBecause he always delivers late, and half the time it\u2019s in the wrong box.\u201d
\nTwo hunters Paul and Kurt
\nA woman starts dating a doctor<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

9. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

A woman walks into a convenience store.
\nShe walks straight to the manager and asks, \u201cDo you have any small notebooks?\u201d
\n\u201cSorry,\u201d says the manager. \u201cWe\u2019re all out.\u201d
\nThe woman shrugs, and asks, \u201cWell, do you have any mechanical pencils?\u201d
\n\u201cNope, don\u2019t have that either,\u201d says the manager.
\nThe woman feels her stomach rumbling and asks, \u201cDo you have Doritos? Nachos?\u201d
\nThe manager shrugs, \u201cSorry.\u201d
\n\u201cHmmph. How about Chap stick?\u201d says the woman.
\n\u201cNope. Don\u2019t have that.\u201d
\n\u201cMy God!\u201d the woman shouts, \u201cIf you don\u2019t have anything, you should close the damn store!\u201d
\nThe manager shrugs, \u201cDon\u2019t have the key.\u201d
\nThe man approached the very beautiful woman
\nTwo lawyers met at a cocktail party<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

10. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

Three old ladies Gertrude, Maude and Tilly \u2013 were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation.
\nSuddenly, a handsome young man dressed only in a trench coat approached them from across the park.
\nHe was holding his coat together with his hands and didn\u2019t seem to be wearing anything underneath it.
\nThe young man came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat in one quick motion, revealing his undressed body.
\nGertrude immediately had a stroke.
\nThen Maude also had a stroke.
\nBut Tilly, bless her heart, being older and more feeble, couldn\u2019t quite reach that far.
\nA Zen student said to his teacher
\nA old man is eating his lunch<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

11. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

The sailors that find him are surprised to see three large buildings on the island.
\nThey ask the man why he built the buildings.
\n\u201cThis first building is my house.\u201d
\n\u201cHe says, I was able to set up a crude aqueduct to create some form of indoor plumbing\u201d.
\nThe sailors are impressed and ask about the second building.
\n\u201cThis second building is my church,\u201d he says \u201cI am a Christian and my faith is very important to me\u201d.
\nThe sailors nod in understanding and ask about the third building.
\n\u201cOh, that one,\u201d the man says.
\n\u201cThat\u2019s the church I USED to go to\u201d.
\nA hungry Wolf
\nA gorgeous 19 year old girl<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

12. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

A man walks into a dimly lit bar and the bartender asks him, \u201cWhy is the front of your shirt all bloody?\u201d
\nHis customer answers in a slurred voice, \u201cMy wife caught me with another woman and cut off my weapon.\u201d
\n\u201cOh come on,\u201d replies the bartender.
\nThe customer then says, \u201cIf you don\u2019t believe me, I\u2019ll show you.\u201d
\nHe proceeds to rifle through his suitcase and pulls out this long thin thing and lays it on the bar.
\nThe bartender bends down and looks closely and says, \u201cWhy this is just a cigar\u201d.
\nThe customer looks puzzled and says, \u201cI have it here somewhere\u201d and proceeds to fumble through his other pockets and comes up with another long thin thing and placing it on the bar, and says, \u201cSee that\u201d.
\nThe bartender again inspects it closely and says, \u201cYou idiot, that\u2019s just another cigar.\u201d
\nNow the customer staggers backward and steadies himself, leaning on the bar and with awareness in his shaky voice says, \u201cOh no, I must have smoked it!\u201d
\nA man and woman were discussing
\nA English teacher spent a lot of time<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

13. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

Two children, Johnny and Alex were sitting outside a clinic.
\nAlex was crying very loudly.
\nJohnny: Why are you crying?
\nAlex: I came here for a blood test.
\nJohnny: So? Are you afraid?
\nAlex: No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.
\nAfter hearing this Johnny started weeping making Alex feel surprised as well as curious and Alex asked: Why are you crying now?
\nJohnny: I came for a urine test!
\nTeacher asked a question to kids
\nShe says to the children<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

14. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

The owner of a company tells his employees, \u201cYou worked very hard this year, therefore the company\u2019s profits increased dramatically. As a reward, I \u2018m giving everyone a check for $5,000!\u201d
\nThrilled, the employees gather round and high five one another.
\n\u201cAnd if you work with the same zeal next year, I\u2019ll sign those checks!\u201d
\nA young man sees her and eagerly approaches
\nA waiter takes an order from a customer<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

15. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

A man owns a rabbit farm and is known around the world for his rabbits who can lift more than any man.
\nA little boy asks him \u201cHow do you keep your rabbits so strong?\u201d
\nThe man replies, \u201cIt\u2019s no secret.\u201d
\nHe pulls out a bottle of shampoo and says,
\n\u201cKeeps your hares strong!\u201d
\nGeorge raises his beer mug
\nHe looks around and takes a seat<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

16. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

The nurse was walking down the hospital corridor when her supervisor spotted her.
\nThe supervisor couldn\u2019t believe it: The nurse\u2019s hair was unkempt, her dress wrinkled, and to top off her overall dishevelment, one of her melons was hanging out of the open front of her uniform!
\n\u201cMiss Jennings! How can you account for parading around the hospital not only looking like a derelict, but with your melons exposed!\u201d
\n\u201cOh,\u201d said the nurse, as she stuffed her melons into her uniform, \u201cIt\u2019s those darn interns! They never put anything back when they\u2019re through using it!\u201d
\nTwo businessmen were taking
\nA young lady meet a man in a pub<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

17. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

Two lawyers are having a drink after work.
\n\u201cThe most amazing thing happened to me last night,\u201d said the first one.
\n\u201cI was working, and suddenly the devil was standing before me, right there in my office!
\nHe told me that in exchange for my soul, I could become a United States senator!\u201d
\n\u201cGreat!\u201d says his friend.
\n\u201cBut what\u2019s the catch?\u201d
\nA man goes to a female dentist
\nThree guys are in a doctor`s office<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

18. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter.
\nHere is your Oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses.
\nIf you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many cafes located throughout the area,\u201d said Peter.
\n\u201cHeck, Gloria,\u201d the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off,
\n\u201cWe could have been here ten years ago if you hadn\u2019t insisted on exercising three times a week and eating that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat food!\u201d
\nThe Infuriated Atheist Neighbor
\nJoe packs the picnic basket<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

19. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

A man was working on a preacher\u2019s car in a garage and he was pushing hard on a wrench to loosen a nut and his hand slipped
\nHe yelled \u201cG**damn it\u201d and the preacher said, \u201cDon\u2019t take the Lord\u2019s name in vain, say \u2018Lord, help me, Lord help me.’\u201d
\nThe man went back to work and, a little while after, his hand slipped again and he said \u201cGoddamn it\u201d again.
\nThe preacher again told him, \u201cDon\u2019t take the Lord\u2019s name in vain, say \u2018Lord help me, Lord help me.\u201d
\nThe man put the car up on the jacks and got under it and, all of a sudden, the car starting coming down and he said, \u201cLord, help me, Lord help me!\u201d And the car started rising.
\nThe preacher said all of a sudden, \u201cWell, Goddamn.\u201d
\nA man is in court for murder
\nThe trooper asked the driver<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

20. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

Three guys are in a Cessna.
\nThe first drops a penny out the window.
\nThe second drops a pencil and the third a bomb.
\nWhen the plane lands, the first guy goes to see where the penny landed.
\nHe sees a guy swearing and trying to get a penny out of his forehead.
\nThe second sees a girl holding her dog who has a pencil through his head.
\nThe third guy sees a guy laughing his head off.
\nHe asks, \u201cWhy are you laughing?\u201d
\nThe guy says, \u201cI was cooking on my BBQ when I farted\u2026\u201d
\n\u201cWhat\u2019s so funny about that?\u201d
\n\u201cIt blew my neighbor\u2019s house apart!\u201d
\nA man walks into a bank and says
\nThree blondes are talking about<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

21. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
\n\u201cBut officer.\u201d the man began, \u201cI can explain\u201d.
\n\u201cJust be quiet,\u201d snapped the officer. \u201cI\u2019m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back\u2026\u201d
\n\u201cBut officer, I just wanted to say\u2026.\u201d
\n\u201cAnd I said to keep quiet! You\u2019re going to jail!\u201d
\nA few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, \u201cLucky for you that the chief is at his daughter\u2019s wedding. He\u2019ll be in a good mood when he gets back.\u201d
\n\u201cDon\u2019t count on it,\u201d answered the fellow in the cell. \u201cI\u2019m the groom.\u201d
\nA man entered the bus
\nA teacher asks the kids<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

22. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

Roger is a hard worker, and he spends most of his nights bowling or playing volleyball.
\nOne weekend, his wife decides that he needs to relax a little and take a break from sports, so she takes him to a strip club.
\nThe doorman at the club spots them and says, \u201cHey Roger! How are you tonight?\u201d
\nHis wife, surprised, asks her husband if he has been here before.
\n\u201cNo, no. He\u2019s just one of the guys I bowl with.\u201d
\nThey are seated, and the waitress approaches, sees Roger and says, \u201cNice to see you, Roger. A gin and tonic as usual?\u201d
\nHis wife\u2019s eyes widen.
\n\u201cYou must come here a lot!\u201d
\n\u201cNo, no\u201d says Roger \u201cI just know her from volleyball.\u201d
\nThen a stripper walks up to the table.
\nShe throws her arms around Roger and says \u201cRoger!
\nA table dance as usual?\u201d His wife, fuming, collects her things and storms out of the bar.
\nRoger follows her and spots her getting into a cab, so he jumps into the passenger seat.
\nHis wife looks at him, seething with fury and flips out on Roger.
\nJust then, the cabby leans over and says, \u201cSure looks like you picked up a bitch tonight, Roger!\u201d
\nA old man goes into Victoria\u2019s Secret
\nA woman awakes during the night<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

23. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

The old lady handed her bank card to the teller and said, \u201cI would like to withdraw \u00a310\u201d.
\nThe teller told her, \u201cFor withdrawals less than \u00a3100, please use the ATM.\u201d
\nThe old lady wanted to know why.
\nThe teller returned her bank card and irritably told her, \u201cThese are the rules, please leave if there is no further matter there is a line of customers behind you.\u201d
\nThe old lady remained silent for a few seconds and handed her card back to the teller and said, \u201cPlease help me withdraw all the money I have.\u201d
\nThe teller was astonished when she checked the account balance.
\nShe nodded her head, leaned down and respectfully told her, \u201cYou have \u00a3300,000 in your account, but the bank doesn\u2019t have that much cash currently could you make an appointment and come back again tomorrow?\u201d
\nThe old lady then asked how much she could withdraw immediately.
\nThe teller told her any amount up to \u00a33000.
\n\u201cWell please let me have \u00a33000 now.\u201d
\nThe teller, with a kind smile, handed \u00a33000 to her.
\nThe old lady put \u00a310 in her purse and said,
\n\u201cPlease deposit this \u00a32990 back into my account.\u201d
\nA overweight blonde
\nMike was driving home<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

24. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

A guy\u2019s partner called him late at night worried that he wasn\u2019t home yet
\nPartner: Where have you been? It\u2019s near 3 am. And you sound very tense. What\u2019s happened?
\nGuy: Oh God! I\u2019m in the car.
\nBut somebody has stolen the steering wheel! I don\u2019t know what to do.
\nOn top of that it\u2019s raining like crazy and the car is getting flooded.
\nPartner: Are you drunk again?
\nGuy: Just a few beers. But that has nothing to do with this. Can you call someone?
\nPartner: Ok, listen to me. Just shut up and close your eyes. First, breathe.
\nGuy: Ok.
\nPartner: Now, get out of the passenger seat and go sit in the driver\u2019s seat.
\nGuy: Woah!
\nPartner: Also, don\u2019t drive, I\u2019m coming to get you. (Drunk driving is bad, folks!)
\nGuy: Ok\u2026
\nPartner: Finally, stop peeing. It\u2019s not rained in three months.
\nTwo guys walking in front of a large church
\nAfter returning from his honeymoon<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

25. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

Little Johnny and his father were walking in the park.
\nThey saw two dogs having lovemaking.
\nLittle Johnny asks, \u201cWhat are they doing, dad?\u201d
\nDad replies, \u201cThey\u2019re making puppies.\u201d
\nLater that evening little Johnny walks into his parents bedroom and they are having lovemaking.
\nHe asks, \u201cWhat are you doing?\u201d
\nDad replies, \u201cWe\u2019re making a baby.\u201d
\nLittle Johnny replies, \u201cWell, can you turn her over? I want puppies.\u201d
\nA man and his wife go to their honeymoon
\nA elderly couple had been dating<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

26. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

Mr. Smith goes to the doctor\u2019s office to collect his wife\u2019s test results.
\nThe lab tech says to him, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, sir, but there has been a bit of a mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent the samples from your wife to the lab, the samples from another Mrs. Smith were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your wife\u2019s. Frankly, that\u2019s either bad or terrible.\u201d
\n\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d
\n\u201cWell, one Mrs. Smith has tested positive for Alzheimer\u2019s disease and the other for AIDS. We can\u2019t tell which is your wife.\u201d
\n\u201cThat\u2019s terrible! Can we do the test over?\u201d asked Mr. Smith.
\n\u201cNormally, yes. But you have an HMO, and they won\u2019t pay for these expensive tests more than once.\u201d
\n\u201cWell, what am I supposed to do now?\u201d
\n\u201cThe HMO recommends that you drop your wife off in the middle of town. If she finds her way home, don\u2019t sleep with her.\u201d
\nA woman goes into a restaurant with 15 kids
\nA very attractive young lady was sitting<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

27. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

Two guys are walking through a game park & they come across a lion that has not eaten for days.
\nThe lion starts chasing the two men.
\nThey run as fast as they can and the one guy starts getting tired and decides to say a prayer, \u201cPlease turn this lion into a Christian, Lord.\u201d
\nHe looks to see if the lion is still chasing and he sees the lion on its knees.
\nHappy to see his prayer answered, he turns around and heads towards the lion.
\nAs he comes closer to the lion, he hears the it saying a prayer:
\n\u201cThank you Lord for the food I am about to receive.\u201d
\nA blind guy on a bar stool
\nJohn was talking to his fiance<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

28. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

Mr Brown was telling his son a bed-time story.
\n\u201cOnce upon a time there was a white bunny\u2026\u201d
\n\u201cJeez..dad it\u2019s boring,what about science fiction?\u201d
\n\u201cOk, Ok\u201d
\nMr Brown said,
\n\u201cOnce upon a time there was a Bunny who got onto a spacecraft and\u2026.\u201d
\n\u201cDad, a little more grown up!\u201d
\n\u201cDo you promise me not to tell your mom?\u201d asked Mr Brown.
\n\u201d I swear!\u201d
\n\u201cOk\u201d,
\n\u201cOnce upon a time there was a undressed bunny\u2026\u201d
\nA father was reading a magazine
\nThe Elderly Couple Gets Stranded On Island<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

29. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

A doctor remarked on his patients, ruddy complexion.
\n\u201cI know\u201d the patient said \u201cIt\u2019s high blood pressure, it\u2019s from my family.\u201d
\n\u201cYour mother\u2019s side, or father\u2019s side?\u201d questioned the doctor.
\nNeither, my wife\u2019s. \u201cWhat?\u201d the doctor said \u201cthat can\u2019t be, how can you get it from your wife\u2019s family?\u201d
\n\u201cOh yeah,\u201d the patient responded, \u201cYou should meet them sometime!\u201d
\nA lady went to a doctor office
\nSam goes to the doctor<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

30. <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Funny<\/p>\n

A little boy walks in on his parents having make love,
\nhis dad says Jacob please leave me and mommy are trying to make you a brother or sister
\nand the child replies, Daddy do in doggy style I want puppy.
\nOne night a little girl walks
\nA boss said to his secretary<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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